True Friendship

True friendship is one of the most positive and rewarding aspects of human personality. 

Yet, sad to say, what we too often experience is only superficial, put-on friendliness that lasts about as long as a vapor on a windy day. How often "friendship" dissipates when the need for such support is most urgent.

God wants us to be friendly. "A man who has friends must himself be friendly," says Proverbs 18:24. But how does God define being "friendly"? The fact is that we need to develop friendships that are true and lasting, that are able to weather all the storms and tests of life, which go beyond a friendly smile and a passing handshake.

True friendship has depth and maturity. It has been cultivated and nurtured through intimate sharing of hopes, dreams, experiences and even tragedies. Real friendships are precious. God’s Word gives numerous examples of model friendships. The patriarch Abraham, for instance, was called "the friend of God" (James 2:23, Isaiah 41:8). This friendship was not of the fair-weather variety. It stood the test. Abraham valued his friendship with God beyond his personal status, the community where he lived or even the life of his son.

Ruth and Naomi had a special kind of friendship. All the comforts of home beckoned Ruth to remain among her own people in familiar Moab. But Ruth perceived that other values in life were more important, pledging, "Wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God" (Ruth 1:16). That's commitment - that's friendship.

The friendship of David and Jonathan is also instructive; here, loyalty, mutual respect and godly love transcended selfish desires, politics and prestige. Jonathan, the heir apparent to Israel's throne, had the spiritual courage and faith to serve his friend, knowing David was anointed of God, rather than to selfishly cling to his position.

True friendship is not just based on mutual interests, likes or dislikes monetary gain or sublimated self-interest. A true friend will always help, even if it hurts: "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Proverbs 27:5-6).

Of course, friends don't always see eye to eye or agree on every issue. Sometimes, friends may even be wrong. Yet friends stick together and pull together: "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend" (Proverbs 27:17).

As Christians, our friendship with God must be primary. How can we qualify for this highest relationship? God shows that wholehearted obedience to Him and reverence for His laws is the key to friendship with Him. Jesus taught, "You are My friends if you do whatever I command you" (John 15:14).

Jesus sets us a perfect example of love, friendship and loyalty. He doesn't forsake us as He sees us struggling to overcome the hurdles of life. We, too, must not abandon friends during times of trial. "A friend is always a friend, he is a born brother for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17, Moffatt).

But our friendship with God is not to be exclusive. In John 15:12 Jesus commands that we expand our horizons and "love one another as I have loved you." And our commission as Christians is to eventually help all humanity come to know God and share with Him the type of friendship we now have!

Everyone could use at least one more true friend. Are we open to the challenge of having this kind of friend - or, better yet, being a true friend ourselves to someone else?

The Fate of Chronic Cynics

“Cynic?  Who, me?”   Isn’t that our typical response?  It isn’t that we don’t recognize it in others; but do we as Christians see it in ourselves?  Are you a “Christian” cynic?

The dictionary describes a cynic as a critical person who is pessimistic about almost everything.  A cynic doesn’t trust anything or anybody and takes delight in poking fun at what others consider sacred or important.

Some people, including many journalists, law enforcement officers and teachers pride themselves on being hard-nosed, pragmatic cynics.  Nobody can pull the wool over their eyes.  They’ve seen human nature at its rawest.  They’ve been conned by the best.  They know human beings are selfish and that human conduct is wholly motivated by self-interest.

They’re turned off to politicians, religionists, philanthropists, do-gooders at all social and economic levels.  They’ve found too many times that behind the shinning facade of altruism lies a dark, ugly desire for self-gain – get in the disguise of give.  Have you ever tended to agree?

God certainly has a lot to say about human nature in His Word.  You might even say Jesus Christ – the Creator of human beings, the One who suffered the most as a direct result of the acts of our human natures -- may have the best reason to be the world’s greatest cynic.

Jesus can see through the hypocrisy of human beings and He understands human nature.  But, in actuality, He’s not our worst critic.  He’s our Mediator before God the Father day in and day out.

As children of God we have also come to understand our own human natures and how they work.  We can quote Jeremiah 17:9 and other scriptures that show the innermost motivations of human beings.

Should we be the world’s greatest cynics then?  If not, should we be “balanced” in our cynicism – just critical enough to let everyone know we’re nobody’s fool, that we are easily taken in?

I think too many of us have taken that route.  Some of us pride ourselves that we can handle it – the truth, that is, about what really happens behind the scenes and why.  We heard that Mr. So and So really said, what he did, etc, etc, ……….  

As someone so aptly put it:  “A cynic is a man or woman who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

Cynicism in scripture is usually referred to as scorning or scoffing and is strongly condemned in both the Old and New Testament.  It is a bent of the spirit that God cannot accept.

Proverbs 13:1 (read) depicts a cynic as unyielding.  Receiving correction requires teachable spirit or attitude, a desire to improve and an acknowledgement that others may know more than you do – attitude not in a cynic.

Cynics are locked in a negative response pattern that requires them to see everything as a sham, pretense and hypocrisy.  This is the opposite of what Paul wrote to us in Philippians 4:8 (read).  So even if the information we have is true, we are not to meditate on it if is not noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report or has any virtue.

Who is the world’s greatest cynic?

None else than Satan the devil, the accuser of the brethren.  And not only is he the world’s greatest cynic, he’s the world’s first.  He was the first to cast aspersions on God and His plan for humankind in the Garden of Eden.  He told Eve the “real” inside story of why God didn’t want her to eat of the fruit and the “real” motivations behind God’s commands.

The world’s greatest cynic, Satan, who accuses us night and day before God, views all others, including God, through his own weaknesses.  And whenever you criticize, beware, you may well be revealing your own most personal problems to your family and friends.

God’s purpose for us is not that we should be others critics.  We are here to grow and develop in Christian character.  If we are forever picking at others, questioning motives, faultfinding, how can we work on our own shortcomings and prepare of a position in God’s Kingdom?  Those guilty of cynicism are probably far behind others in their development toward serving in God’s Kingdom.

How does God expect us to think about our brothers and sisters then?  Read Philippians 2:3.

As well, read Matthew 7:1-2.  Jesus continues in the next few verses to show who we should be examining and criticizing – ourselves.

This world, ruled by Satan, has become a vile, disappointing, ever worsening environment for human beings to live in.  At every turn we’re cheated, lied to, betrayed, maligned, hoodwinked by human beings deceived by Satan.

But no matter, let’s not allow what happens to us in the world to affect our attitudes toward God and our fellow man.  Let’s not let the world’s greatest cynic instill his negative, critical, faultfinding attitude in us.

Put simply, God cannot abide cynicism (read Proverbs 3:34; 21:24).  It is as foreign to His nature as anything imaginable.  Where cynicism is, God cannot be.

Stick-to-itiveness

Stick-to-itiveness is a rather unrefined word but I have a special fondness for it nevertheless.

I heard the word time and time again when I was young.  I was a creature of sudden and short-lived fascinations.

For a while I had a passion for collecting comic books.  My room was filled with them.

Then coin collecting was my fancy. 

Next baseball cards became my almost full time occupation, as I traded and bargained with my friends.

And then, it was music.  Going to concerts and collecting record albums of various artists and groups was my passion.

It was during these transitions from one enthusiasm to another that I would hear the reprimand from some: “You have no stick-to-itiveness.  You will never finish anything.”

Years later I learned that God's word had a better word for this same thing:  perseverance.  It is one of the marks of true character development and I have learned to admire those who exemplify it.

Perseverance means that we don’t stop, that we keep going.  We do not get discouraged, upset and quit when we find we are not yet perfect and that there is a long trek still before us.

Read James 1:12.

That’s the apostle James talking about the use of perseverance in our everyday Christian life.  James is saying that when we develop perseverance, we are on our way to becoming the complete person God wants us to be.

The whole concept of perseverance runs contrary to our time and culture.  Today there seems to be a rampant mentality that says, “If overcoming doesn’t come easy, forget it.”

It’s heard in statements like:  “I don’t like this job or my boss.  I’m going to quit and collect unemployment benefits.” “I know I have a little problem with drinking and I overeat sometimes and overspend my income but why not live to the fullest?”

This is how many people think today.  If things don’t come instantly, they take the easy way out, by running away from the problems.

We need to remember the way it was for Christ, our older brother.  Has anyone else ever experienced such merciless, lifelong pounding from within and from without?  Yet Christ set a perfect example of perseverance.

There is an old saying: “There is no royal road to anything.  One thing at a time, all things in succession.  That which grows fast withers as rapidly; that which grows slowly endures.” This quality of perseverance can and will help us in four key areas of our life.

Helps us develop the character that God wants.  That’s what James was talking about.  We need to be complete.  We all have certain qualities we need to develop in order to qualify for God’s family.

Many of these qualities - like self-control, sensitivity and patience - are difficult to develop.  That’s why most people progress slowly in these areas.

When the growing gets tough, some just up and quit.  They lack the spirit of perseverance that would keep them trying no matter how hard or discouraging the struggle becomes.

Helps us improve our relationships.  Friendships, marriage, work or school relationships all take effort to make them grow.  Don’t just give up on people if they disappoint you in some way.  Give them a chance, remember Matthew 18:21-22, “Until seventy times seven.”

Helps us improve our prayer life.  Christ told a parable about a woman who kept asking a harsh judge for justice until he gave it to her.  “And shall God not avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him?” (Luke 18:7).

Jesus was saying to persevere in our prayers.  If we pray for something or someone and don’t get an answer right away, we shouldn’t give up.  Keep on communicating with God.  He won’t ignore us.  He listens.  He responds.

Helps us reach our goals.  God has called us all to a bright future.  Peter explained it this way (read I Peter 2:9).

God tells us our potential.  He gives us a glimpse of what we can become and do.  He’ll surely help us get there if we don’t give up, if we persevere.

We all need what perseverance offers.  With it, we can endure, grow and develop godly traits of true leadership that we can use now and in God family.

Do You Hear Thunder?

As I watched the news recently there was a segment that focused on a medical school.  A required course for medical students was training in compassion.  I was amazed to find that compassion is no longer considered a natural human emotion or trait but a lost virtue that needs to be researched and taught in college.

Society is learning that humans need and crave a great amount of compassion.

It brings to mind a time Christ and His disciples journeyed to Jerusalem.  On the way they planned to rest at a Samaritan village.  The group sent messengers ahead to arrange accommodations but the village refused to cooperate.  Jesus was on His way to Jerusalem and the Samaritans wanted nothing to do with the trip because of their animosity toward the Jews.

The disciples were furious, these villagers refused Christ!  “Lord do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?” they asked (Luke 9:54).

James and John, nicknamed “sons of thunder,” were zealous for what they believed.  But they lacked an important ingredient: the compassion that comes from God’s Holy Spirit.

Sometimes it seems that those whom God is working with now are inclined to be more like the “sons of thunder” than compassionate Christians.

I have heard in the past from some that they have little sympathy for certain people in their trails.  They feel that afflicted people deserve their problems.  Or that those in trails should develop backbone and work their way out of the problems, without complaining or depending on others for solutions.  People have even told me that this world is not for the weak, and maybe we would be better off without these people to slow us down.

Strong words!  They have a degree of truth.  We often bring on our own problems.  And, when it comes right down to it, we are responsible for the character we build (or don’t build), and for working out our own salvation (Philippians 2:12).

Compassion in this world faces extinction.  Romans 1:29-31 paints a picture of our time.  II Timothy 3:2-3 says those living in the last days love themselves, boast, are brutal and abusive, and refuse to love others or forgive them.

Do we realize that these attitudes can easily poison us to affect how we deal with others?

Note what David had to deal with, Psalm 69:20.  Christ went through the same agony centuries later.

But what was David’s attitude?  Psalm 35:13-14 says that David mourned for his enemies when they were ill.  He had grief for them as he would have had for friends or family.  He hated their works and asked God to humble them because of their evil.  But once they were humbled, he took their trails personally and even fasted for them on occasion.

Compassion is sympathy with someone’s suffering and a desire to ease their pain.

Compassion means you literally help bear the afflicted person’s burden.  Compassion is concern to the point of personal involvement.

How can we build active compassion?

Avoid self-righteous attitudes. Read Romans 12:3-5.  We can’t condemn someone because of his or her circumstances.  God has called people in nearly every circumstance.  There’s a purpose in everything God does.  We can learn from those who seem a little weaker and slower than the rest of us in some areas.

And even if the other person’s trail is self-inflicted, we should put ourselves in that person’s situation.  Sure, they caused the problem but how they are suffering.  Think about the pressures and sorrow they are under.  How would we feel?

Build on the compassion God gives through His Spirit.  God’s Spirit prompts us with feelings of concerns and the desire to help.  Don’t ignore or squelch these feelings.  Use them to build compassion.

Learn the art of intercessory prayer.  Have we every asked about the progress of a sick individual when we hadn’t remembered to pray about them?  If so, those could have been vain words. If we were truly concerned, we would also have prayed about the situation.

God delights in answering the prayers we send up for others.  He loves to see unity, love, compassion and concern grow in His people.  Sometimes prayers are the only action we can take to help.  Our prayers will make a difference if we pray wholeheartedly, out of compassion for the one suffering.

Do what you can to help physically.  Prayers for the person are not enough if it’s in our power to do more (James 2:14-17).

Involvement takes effort and time.  It requires selfless awareness of other people.  It presupposes wisdom, since we need to know how to involve ourselves in another’s problems.  But, possibly the most important ingredient is patience with others in their faults and in their trails.

Be patient.  It’s so much easier to see situation clearly when we’re not the one suffering in it.  Sometimes it seems obvious to us what the solution is.  We can become impatient, “If he wont’ help himself, there’s nothing I can do.”  But, God requires us to suffer along with brethren.

Note what Job said in Job 6:14.  He is saying that we shouldn’t give us on a friend during a low period.

Help the afflicted person endure his or her trail until the end, when God’s purpose for the trail comes to fruition (James 5:7-11).  It may take longer than we had hoped, but, then, how many times has God had to wait patiently on us?

Read Romans 12.  It shows what God’s mind on the subject is and gives an outline of how to have compassion for our brethren.  Take the time to live this chapter.  You will be able have a part in another's growth by your compassion.  And more, you will begin to learn a trait that God will have us extend to all mankind.

Don't Take it for Granted

Found an article recently that caught my attention.  It was about an unusual coin, a 1913 Liberty Head nickel that was valued at $25,000.  As I read the article, a particular comment struck me about the attitude of the owner of this rare coin.  A coin dealer and friend of the owner was quoted as saying: “He’s quite a guy.  He has shown that coin around so much, it’s become commonplace for him.”

You might wonder how someone could come to view something so rare and valuable as commonplace and yet all of us in many ways do just that.

There is a common saying: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  It seems the longer we are associated with a company, job, technological advancement, person or whatever, the easier it is to take these things for granted and not appreciate them as we should.

We can even do this with spiritual truths, as illustrated in Matthew 22:1-14.  This parable is about a wedding feast.  Those who were invited first made various excuses not to come.  Finally, the king instructed his servants to call others, both “bad and good” (verse 10), so the wedding hall be filled with guests.

The king noticed one man who was improperly dressed and who could offer no explanation when confronted.  The man was cast “into outer darkness” (verse 13) and the story closes with the warning of verse 14: “For many are called but few are chosen.”

One lesson from this parable is that of taking our calling for granted, just like the wedding guest who was cast out.  It is obvious from the story that he was complacent about his calling to the wedding and did not properly prepare.  Our adversary, Satan would love for us to treat God’s calling superficially and not to appreciate it as we should.  How can we prevent this?

To begin, we should realize how personal God’s calling is.  Jesus said, “No man come to me, except the Father which has me draw him” (John 6:44).  God Himself does the calling.  God the Father wants to develop a close relationship with us.  Should we not delight in this opportunity to get close to God?

In I Corinthians 1:26-31, Paul tells us that “not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called,” but that God is choosing the “the weak.”

How wonderful it is that God is willing to deal mostly with average, ordinary, unexceptional people.  On occasion, God calls those who above average but this is the exception.  God does this so we can glory in His calling, willingly yield ourselves to Him and grow and overcome, looking to Him and not to ourselves.

How different this is from the way man thinks.  Appointees to positions or jobs are selected on their qualifications.  It is normal for a newly elected President to select a new Presidential Cabinet and those chosen are picked because of their qualifications and training as well as political considerations.

God, on the other hand, chooses us first and then provides the training so we can qualify to receive a spiritual responsibility as part of the gift of our salvation.

Notice another aspect of how God calls us.  In II Timothy 1:9 Paul tells us that God calls us “not according to our works.”  How comforting it is that a merciful God does not hold our past mistakes in mind as He chooses to deal with us.  How many of us would God call if He called us according to our works?  Few, if any.

I Peter 2:25 gives us another benefit of God’s calling: “For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.”  As verse 21 brings out this return comes through God’s calling.

Few animals are as helpless and vulnerable as sheep, especially sheep cut off from their shepherd.  Spiritually speaking, humans are much the same without God.  Satan is likened to a roaring lion that is on the prowl-seeking victims (I Peter 5:8).  God’s calling provides protections and safety through Christ the chief shepherd.

Galatians 5:13 gives us another benefit of God’s calling in which we can appreciate.  Paul wrote “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh but by love serve one another.”

Before God called us, we were “servants [or slaves] of sin.” (Romans 6:17).  The Bible pictures this situation as spiritual bondage, with Satan the devil as an evil taskmaster.  Worries, fears and frustrations, in addition to sins, keep many people under servitude and slavery.

God’s calling, however, provides us with liberty and the freedom to live an abundant life.  God’s law is a “law of liberty” (James 2: 12), and through God’s mercy and calling we can achieve true freedom from sin.

In II Peter 1: 3-4 we learn that through the calling of God “exceeding great and precious promises” are made available to us.  God’s Word is filled with these promises and God Himself stands back of every one of them.  Included in these promises are such benefits as protection, salvation, forgiveness, mercy, help and encouragement, strength and prosperity.  All of these can be ours if we respond to God’s calling and yield ourselves to Him.

It is easy to see why Philippians 3:14 talks about a “high” calling.  To be one of those with whom God is dealing with is a great privilege.

In light of all of these points let’s not be like the rare coin owner who took his asset for granted.  God’s calling is much more precious.

Who is the Greatest Among You?

We all want to be respected, held in honor and considered important.  I am sure you will recall the question of who would be the greatest in kingdom of God was hotly debated among the disciples of Christ.

James and John even attempted to obtain a firm commitment from Christ to designate them as second and third in authority under Him in the kingdom of God (Mark 10:37).

Note what Christ said in verses 42 through 44.  How can one be the greatest of all and yet be a servant to all at the same time?  How can we apply this instruction of Christ to our lives today?

We live an age of organizations.  They function in most aspects of our lives, from the economic to the spiritual.  Each organization has leaders.  They are the “greatest” in the organization.  An organizational chart represents their relationship to others in the organization.  It shows who is over whom in authority.

To view leadership in an organization from the perspective that Christ taught, however, we need to make a change in the orientation of the organization chart.  We need to turn it upside down.

Instead of the having a pyramid structure in which the head stone is sitting on top of and being carried by all the stones under it, we rather have a structure in the form of a tree.  The one in authority is the trunk, which supports and provides nourishment to all those under his authority.

Compare this with Christ’s statement in John 15:5: “I am the vine, you are the branches.”

Turing the chart upside down does not do away with authority.  Every organization needs authority to function.  The fact that Christ considers Himself the vine and we the branches does not diminish His authority over us.  It rather gives an example of how to properly perceive and execute godly authority.

Consider the human body.  Is the purpose of the body merely to carry the head around?  No.  The body’s purpose is to work, create, build, and produce something of value to others.  But it is the head that make each individual member effective in doing its part in the overall work of the body.

The head directs and coordinates.  The other members do the work.  However, the other members are effective only if they have the direction of the head.  The head does more than sit on top of the body.  It makes the body function effectively.

The head is, in reality, a servant to the whole body.  This is the lesson of leadership we need to learn.

A position of leadership in an organization, be it a family, a business, etc... is much like the function of the head.  The leader has a responsibility to make those under him effective.

Authority can be thought of as the power to exercise one’s responsibility to others, to supply what they need to produce the results expected of them.  Isn’t this how Christ exercises His authority over us?

How do we apply this principle?

If we are given a leadership role of an activity at school, church, etc...do we glory that we are in charge?  That we can now command and it will be done according to our wishes?  Do we attempt to make a name for ourselves?  Or do we see it as our responsibility to make those under us effective by supplying organization, direction, motivation, money or other needs so that they can make the activity a success, so that it can be enjoyable and profitable for the maximum number of people?  Are we servants to both those under us and to those who will enjoy the activity?

Let us once again consider the original question:  Who will be the greatest in the world tomorrow?  The answer is the ones who serves the most.

Today we are training to be leaders in the world tomorrow.  To qualify for leadership positions, we must learn to serve those under our authority. 

However, we do not need to have an extensive group of people under our authority at this time to learn this lesson.  What we do is to develop a serving attitude, not blindly responding to all question for help but wisely judging where we can best apply our time, money and talents to do the most good.

If we practice making our resources and opportunities serve the most individuals in the best way possible, we will be on the road that leads to true greatness, irrespective of how great or how limited our resources and opportunities may be now.

Where Are You Going

“Where are you going?” asked the young father as his young son was starting to go outside. The child said nowhere; he was just going outside to more or less wander around.

Have you noticed that some people tend to live their entire lives like that -- seemingly half asleep, bumbling around as if in the dark, never really knowing where they are going?

What about us?  Do we know where we are going?

Sad to say, many people don’t know where they are going.  The Bible makes plain exactly where all true Christians should be going.  The apostle Paul declared clearly, (read Hebrews 6:1).

His point is this:  Once we, as Christians, understand the foundational points of doctrine in God’s truth, we have something important to do.  Or, rather, we have somewhere important to go -- to perfection!

Paul was not the only one to give this advice.  Jesus Christ Himself was even more firm, making a direct command:  (read Matthew 5:48).

We have probably read this command before, but have we ever wondered why God wants us to be perfect?  The answer is found in the second half of the verse just cited:  “Therefore you shall be perfect,  just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”

We must become perfect to be just like our Father.  Our Father is God.  Our destiny is to become His spiritual children and therefore part of the God Family.  If our destiny was to be something less than a child of God, then perhaps we could be less than perfect.  But it isn’t, and we can’t!  It just wouldn’t do for one of God’s children not to be perfect.

Clearly, perfection is impossible to attain in this life.  Everybody knows that; therefore some don’t bother to try.  But realize this:  One who accepts mediocrity in this life will never attain perfection in the next, for the very faults God wishes him to overcome are the ones he chooses to tolerate in himself.  And those who tolerate sin are unworthy of eternal life and its perfection!  God simply will not give eternal life to such a person.

Those who seek for perfection, on the other hand, will find it.  They will not find it now, of course, but in the Kingdom of God.  For it is the very attitude of settling only for perfection of character that God requires before He will give the gifts of eternal life and perfection!

Don’t be deceived.  Perfecting ourselves means work.  It means analyzing ourselves and our lives, finding the difficulties, sins and errors in our ways and, with God’s help, replacing them with His character.  It is tough.  It is at times agonizing and humbling, discouraging and tiring.

It is, quite frankly, the toughest job we will ever love!  For although  tough, it is addicting, exhilarating, invigorating, stimulating and overwhelmingly joyful and fulfilling!

Practice make perfect -- or, rather makes for perfection!

Our goal is to go where no human but Christ has truly gone before -- on to perfection.  We will not get all the way there ourselves.  We all know that before we leave.  But in leaving for the destiny of perfection, and in striving to get there, and in holding on to the goal, we will in the process develop the character that God demands of those He will finally make perfect.

That’s certainly where I want to go.  How about you?  Where are you going?