True friendship is one
of the most positive and rewarding aspects of human personality.
Yet, sad to say, what
we too often experience is only superficial, put-on friendliness that lasts
about as long as a vapor on a windy day. How often "friendship"
dissipates when the need for such support is most urgent.
God wants us to be
friendly. "A man who has friends must himself be friendly," says Proverbs 18:24. But how does God define being
"friendly"? The fact is that we need to develop friendships that are
true and lasting, that are able to weather all the storms and tests of life,
which go beyond a friendly smile and a passing handshake.
True friendship has
depth and maturity. It has been cultivated and nurtured through intimate
sharing of hopes, dreams, experiences and even tragedies. Real friendships are
precious. God’s Word gives numerous examples of model friendships. The
patriarch Abraham, for instance, was called "the friend of God" (James 2:23, Isaiah 41:8). This friendship was not of the
fair-weather variety. It stood the test. Abraham valued his friendship with God
beyond his personal status, the community where he lived or even the life of
his son.
Ruth and Naomi had a
special kind of friendship. All the comforts of home beckoned Ruth to remain
among her own people in familiar Moab. But Ruth perceived that other values in
life were more important, pledging, "Wherever you go, I will go; and
wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God,
my God" (Ruth 1:16). That's commitment
- that's friendship.
The friendship of
David and Jonathan is also instructive; here, loyalty, mutual respect and godly
love transcended selfish desires, politics and prestige. Jonathan, the heir
apparent to Israel's throne, had the spiritual courage and faith to serve his
friend, knowing David was anointed of God, rather than to selfishly cling to
his position.
True friendship is not
just based on mutual interests, likes or dislikes monetary gain or sublimated
self-interest. A true friend will always help, even if it hurts: "Open
rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a
friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Proverbs 27:5-6).
Of course, friends
don't always see eye to eye or agree on every issue. Sometimes, friends may
even be wrong. Yet friends stick together and pull together: "As iron
sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend" (Proverbs 27:17).
As
Christians, our friendship with God must be primary. How can we qualify for
this highest relationship? God shows that wholehearted obedience to Him and
reverence for His laws is the key to friendship with Him. Jesus taught,
"You are My friends if you do whatever I command you" (John 15:14).
Jesus
sets us a perfect example of love, friendship and loyalty. He doesn't forsake
us as He sees us struggling to overcome the hurdles of life. We, too, must not
abandon friends during times of trial. "A friend is always a friend, he is
a born brother for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17, Moffatt).
But
our friendship with God is not to be exclusive. In John 15:12 Jesus commands that we expand our
horizons and "love one another as I have loved you." And our
commission as Christians is to eventually help all humanity come to know God
and share with Him the type of friendship we now have!
Everyone
could use at least one more true friend. Are we open to the challenge of having
this kind of friend - or, better yet, being a true friend ourselves to someone
else?
